What is ‘sadfishing’? - Ineqe Safeguarding Group

Last Updated on 2nd December 2021

You may have heard the term ‘sadfishing’ in the media this week and wondered what it was. This concerning trend is not new, but it does serve as an indicator for the state of young people’s wellbeing online and their attempts to cope.

The term ‘sadfishing’ refers to the act of posting about a personal problem online to gain support or understanding from followers in the form of likes and comments. While there will be some cases where young people will persistently share exaggerated posts to gain sympathy, we need to be cautious with dismissing these behaviours as ‘attention seeking’.

For example, Kendall Jenner recently shared a post about how ‘suffering from acne was debilitating’ for her which was met with both sympathy and controversy.

View this post on Instagram

While there are much bigger problems happening in the world, suffering from acne for me was debilitating. It’s something that I’ve dealt with since I was a young teen and has caused me to feel anxious, helpless and insecure. As humans, I don’t think we share our insecurities enough because we live in a time where being “perfect” is the standard. We curate our life online and pick the pretty moments to post. I’d like to show a younger generation that not everything is perfect. Being insecure about my acne gave me thick skin but I wouldn’t ever wish that feeling upon anyone so after trying countless options, I found something that has been helpful in maintaining clear skin for me. It’s been a long journey but I’m excited for where my skin is now. I didn’t think I’d see the day where I would feel confident posting a makeup free picture. My goal is to open up a dialogue around skin positivity. ❤️

A post shared by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on Jan 17, 2019 at 3:49pm PST

It’s important that young people are able to talk about how they feel, and some will seek support online from close friends. However, oversharing publicly could be counterproductive for some young people and could make them feel even more vulnerable and overexposed.

If a child in your care engages in so-called “sadfishing” it’s an indication that you need to check in with them and offer some support.

Use open ended questions to start a conversation with a young person in your care:

“I’ve noticed you have been sharing online about how you’re feeling- maybe you could tell me what’s been going on?”
“It can be hard to talk about how we’re feeling- I want to help and listen to what’s been going on I won’t shout or judge you.”
“I saw the post that you shared; I’m wondering what made you share that?”

Use messages of reassurance and highlight other supports:

“That sounds like a lot to have to handle by yourself, how have you been coping?”
“I want you to know that I am always here for you, you can come talk to me about anything. If you didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about something, who else would you feel comfortable talking to?”
“It’s normal to sometimes feel like you’re sad or lonely, it’s very brave of you to talk to me you should be proud of yourself”

If a young person struggles to engage:

“We’ve been talking for a while and it doesn’t seem like you are able to say very much about what’s going on for you- is there a reason for this?”
“Sometimes it’s hard to talk about how we’re feeling, do you want to have a think about how you’re feeling, and we can talk in a few hours?”
“Sometimes it can be hard to put our emotions into words, if your feelings were a colour/emoji which would they be?”

Information Advice and Guidance

If you have concerns about the immediate safety and wellbeing of a child contact the police using 999 (emergency number).

For more practical advice check out our video below

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Pause, Think and Plan

Guidance on how to talk to the children in your care about online risks.

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Image of a collection of Safer Schools Resources in relation to the Home Learning Hub

What Are Your Words Worth

This activity pack is designed to prompt young people to think about the words they use online. The activities included will help them to reflect about comments they make on social media or gaming platforms and how those words may impact others. There is also a challenge included to make more #PostivePosts!

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