“You can’t get away. The bullies follow you into your house. You used to be able to keep your head down and let it pass, but now…you can’t.”

                                                            – a quote from a victim of cyberbullying, Anti-Bullying Alliance Report

There are many forms of bullying, such as physical, verbal, or psychological harassment (which can all take on sexualised forms). However, cyberbullying is one of the fastest growing types of bullying, especially for children and young people whose online and offline lives converge daily. 

Cyberbullying: Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place online. Unlike bullying offline, online bullying can follow the child wherever they go, via social networks, gaming, and mobile phone.

-NSPCC

With over half of children and young people using social media sites or apps, it’s no wonder that 39% have experienced an act of cyberbullying (according to a recent study performed by Ditch the Label). This includes:

As we live in an increasingly digital world, children or young people may feel they cannot escape their bullies – or the temptation to bully others. It might feel easier to cyberbully a classmate behind the protection of a screen. It might not even feel like “real” bullying at all. This also makes it harder to spot bullying as it’s not happening in a physical space.  

It might be difficult to understand or accept why the child in your care is being a bully. As children and young people are still forming in their emotional intelligence, choosing to bully another person is often the easy path to getting something they want. Their reasons for bullying might be: 

There are also deeper psychological issues that may be the cause of a young person bullying, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, or behavioural disorders. If you believe this is the case, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional.  

Nothing justifies bullying behaviour. It is important not to make excuses for a child in your care, but to help them work through the root of the problem. 

As a parent and carer, it is natural to want to be on your child’s side. This does not mean you need to deny what they are doing or defend them. The best thing you can do in this situation is to realise that your child has a problem and needs your help. Here are some simple steps to help you help them: 

After privately discussing this behaviour with your child, take some time to pause and reflect before taking any next steps. If possible and appropriate, facilitate a meeting with the other child involved and their parent or carer, involving your child’s teacher if necessary. They may have helpful insight into the situation and may be able to facilitate classroom intervention if the need arises.  

Remember: bullying behaviour is not a reflection of who your child is as a person. They are still figuring out appropriate social skills, some of which do not always translate into online interaction. With the right support from adults who care, children who bully can and do change their behaviour. Helping your child learn to apologise and interact appropriately will teach them how to be responsible for their actions and will benefit their future.